The Birthday Letter.....
My Dearest Jon,
This week we would have celebrated your 55th birthday. On the 20th the kids would have all come over to help us celebrate. I would have fixed whatever meal you would have requested, maybe it might have been ribs or a big juicy brisket. We would have sat around the table eating, laughing, and most likely poking fun at how old you were getting and the silver color of your hair! You and Machelle would play off each others jokes and one of you would most likely pull a "that's what she said". We would sing happy birthday and you would blow out candles on your favorite yellow cake with chocolate frosting.
Eventually we would make our way into living room and relax while complaining about how much we had eaten! We would perhaps watch Lincoln play with his favorite Hot Wheels, running them up and down the coffee table or building some strange contraption with one of his new building sets. We'd laugh and enjoy each others company while you opened up a few gifts for your birthday. Soon following the kids would all head back to their homes for the evening.
Sadly these events will not happen this year. Instead, I will stare at the calendar, focused on the 25th. The fourth month now that you have been gone. There will be no yellow cake with chocolate frosting or one of your favorite meals this week. The house will be quiet and there will be no sounds of laughter or singing Happy Birthday. I will heat up and eat leftovers on a paper plate while sitting in front of the television watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, (our once favorite past time). And, as I have every single day since you left, wonder what you are doing, what you are seeing, and what Heaven is truly like. I try to envision seeing you and your sister Devonna singing together for the Lord and imagine you sitting and visiting with your mom and dad. I often picture you and Jesus side hugging with big smiles on your faces and laughing. These are images in my mind that bring a smile to my face, and ones that I will hold tightly until I see you again.
I found this framed poem while browsing around Hobby Lobby recently. As I read it, I knew this is what you would say to me if you could.
If You Could See Me Now, You Wouldn't Shed A Tear.
Though You May Not Understand Why I'm No Longer Here.
Remember My Spirit, That's The Real Me.
I'm Still Very Much Alive, Oh, If You Could Only See!
I've Beheld Our Father's Face. I've Touched My Savior's Hand.
The Angels All Rejoiced As I Entered The Promised Land.
Beyond The Gates Of Pearl, I Walk On Golden Streets.
I've Touched The Walls Of Jasper, Dipped My Foot In The Crystal Sea.
The Beauty Is Beyond Words, Nothing Can Compare.
I've Even Seen Your Mansion; Someday I Will Meet You There.
Allow Jesus To Be Your Guide, His Word Will Show You The Way.
So, Please, Don't Cry! We Will Meet Again Someday!
(Copyright Patsy Stambaugh Deskins)
Oh how we miss you so very much. Our lives have not been the same, nor will it ever be. Your birthday gift -- we have pressed on and continue to carry forward the ministry. Our new motto is a quote Machelle remembers you saying just weeks before you left this Earth, "When the light goes out in the big churches, they will need to see the light from our little church". If you can see from Heaven, I know it brings a smile to your face!
Even though your years were shorter than some, I am so very grateful that God, in all his wonderful wisdom, fearfully and wonderfully made you!
Happy Birthday Sweetheart! I Love you!