His Love For Me Is My Joy
I have struggled over the last two weeks since my last blog. It's been so hard to sit down and try to type out something that I felt might help anyone at all. The pain of Jon's death has been so much greater. It hurts so much deeper than before. The start of all the "firsts" have begun. The first Thanksgiving without him. The wrapping of gifts, which was always his job as he enjoyed doing it and I didn't. The writing on the name tags with just, "From Mom". Then hanging his stocking knowing it will not be filled. And oh the tears that come everytime I hear "I'll be home for Christmas".
But, yesterday for about three hours I was able to not think about Jon being gone. A group of ladies and I got together and created a few Christmas goodie platters and fruit baskets to take to our local Police Dept, Fire Station, and a local Gas Station that has been a big blessing to the community. My mood and my spirit began thriving once again during that time. Our pastor from Texas has said from the pulpit many times, that when you have problems, or are depressed, and you don't know what to do; serve others. On my, there is so much goodness that comes from doing that. When we start focusing on others, our eyes are lifted up off ourselves. It doesn't take the pain away, but it sure does make it more bearable! Those simple actions yesterday actually put some joy in my heart.
When I sit and think about that, isn't that what our life should look like all the time - serving others? Isn't that the example that Christ set for us when he came to earth? I mean, for the Son of God to wash feet is a pretty selfless serving act (John 13). Everything that Christ did was in service to others from His birth to His death. All so that you and I could have Heaven as our home. Heaven was already His, but He left it selflessly for us.
Life is hard, it's messy, it's painful. But because of JOY, Jesus endured the cross. His love for me IS my Joy.